[ He leans backwards, putting his hands on the floor he looks up at the ceiling. ]
Why indeed…
The truth is even just seeing a glimpse of that photo felt like I’d been struck. Like all the air was taken out of me. [ He doesn’t actually need to breathe but whatever it’s an expression. ] It’s the first time I’ve had to think about her outside of my nightmares since I escaped our old life. In that instant I felt like a scared child again and my desire to get out, to not be confined again heightened.
She can’t find me ever again. Yet the idea of erasing all that… to make it like all of that pain had never happened… it’s tempting, isn’t it? Presuming it also erases my memories of the experience, that is. I won’t do it because that would probably mean I would never have been pushed to leave that place, and then I’d never have met my first love or the rest of my family in Aeaea or my best friend - things that mean more to me than anything in the world. But still I think about that scared little boy and the childhood he could have had and I can’t fully push it out.
[ He sighs and tips his head back down to look at her. ]
I’ve been through a lot of trauma and heartache in my life. You don’t get to be this old without experiencing enough of it that would make a normal mortal man lose his mind. And in equal measure I have seen others suffer as well. I know pain when I see it.
I do not want to make presumptions. But you’re young enough that I don’t believe your intent was purely malicious or that you were some secret heartless murderer who lost her mind all along. I don’t see you as just a feral beast who needs to be put down for the good of others.
Whatever it was you saw… I will not presume they’re as bad as my sister - few people are. But would I be right in assuming they hurt you in some way? Or did something awful that ruined your life?
no subject
Why indeed…
The truth is even just seeing a glimpse of that photo felt like I’d been struck. Like all the air was taken out of me. [ He doesn’t actually need to breathe but whatever it’s an expression. ] It’s the first time I’ve had to think about her outside of my nightmares since I escaped our old life. In that instant I felt like a scared child again and my desire to get out, to not be confined again heightened.
She can’t find me ever again. Yet the idea of erasing all that… to make it like all of that pain had never happened… it’s tempting, isn’t it? Presuming it also erases my memories of the experience, that is. I won’t do it because that would probably mean I would never have been pushed to leave that place, and then I’d never have met my first love or the rest of my family in Aeaea or my best friend - things that mean more to me than anything in the world. But still I think about that scared little boy and the childhood he could have had and I can’t fully push it out.
[ He sighs and tips his head back down to look at her. ]
I’ve been through a lot of trauma and heartache in my life. You don’t get to be this old without experiencing enough of it that would make a normal mortal man lose his mind. And in equal measure I have seen others suffer as well. I know pain when I see it.
I do not want to make presumptions. But you’re young enough that I don’t believe your intent was purely malicious or that you were some secret heartless murderer who lost her mind all along. I don’t see you as just a feral beast who needs to be put down for the good of others.
Whatever it was you saw… I will not presume they’re as bad as my sister - few people are. But would I be right in assuming they hurt you in some way? Or did something awful that ruined your life?