week 2

[arsholes]

[One week down and (if the Alchemist's promise is to be believed) just three more to go. In the past week royalty has been bullied, explicitly non-Satanic chairs were ordered and you began the pact-bonding process with your new proprietor of mercantile wares, ✨Garfield the Deals Warlock✨.

All in all, a surprisingly good week despite the kidnapping and looming threat of death. We'll see how long that lasts.


Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

✨WEEKLY DEALS✨
1. The Cloak of Duplication - An ancient vampiric artifact, when worn it changes your appearance and voice to perfectly mimic another individual of your choosing. (You still have to sell the act, though.) [5 coins] SOLD
2. The Battle Axe of Hatred - A sick as hell electric guitar with an energy that feels like it is powered by the screaming of an ancient and evil lord- or at least once was. It has a signature on the body that simply says "Ron" and looks like it might have been written in blood. [5 coins]
3. The Jable - Put down your keys and stay a while. [2 coins]


✨LEFTOVER STOCK AT 50% MARK-UP✨
1. The Tingler - The whole hand tingles from wearing this ring, as if more blood rushes through the area. [2 coins]
2. Christine Jr. - A tiny red convertible. It's powered by pedals like a bicycle, with a steering wheel. For some reason it makes you think of old men in silly hats. [6 coins]



(( OOC: Don't forget to submit your orders for any threads that aren't with the Alchemist or Garfield! The Alchemist and Garfield both have "office hours" now so feel free to reach out to them. The compact functions have also been updated and don't forget activity check!

This week is where the real game begins, so get in your regains and CR while you can. >:3 ))

Comments

[draconite]

It's all quite underwhelming, isn't it?

[ She's weighing one of the practice spears half-heartedly in her hands, looking thoroughly unimpressed. ]

They look as though they'd snap in two if you landed a hard blow. That's the last thing anyone should want from a weapon.

[philomachy]

Indeed. [He takes a practice sword, looking it over.

...It's meant to be a longsword but it looks anything but when Zenos holds it.] I could break these without even trying.

Something to correct, if our stay here takes much longer.

[draconite]

You'd think if he were that intent on seeing bloodshed, he'd see fit to provide us with real weapons instead of these flimsy little toys.

[ She hums thoughtfully. ]

Could we improvise using the equipment from elsewhere in the castle, perhaps?

[ ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! ]

[philomachy]

[He's quiet a moment as he considers this. Hm...]

...There are knives in the kitchen.

[NO]

[draconite]

Ohoh! And there are ties and adhesives in the storage room, are there not? Could we affix the knives to some of these weapons, perhaps? It wouldn't do much to improve their construction, but fighting with them would be a bit more interesting at least!

[ THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN ]

[philomachy]

It will at least add some point [pun... maybe intended] to their existence.

I'll go fetch some knives.

[He'll leave the storage room to Bryn because oh god they're really doing this aren't they]

[draconite]

And I'll fetch the adhesives!

[ And off she goes to get tape for their knife sticks.

Somewhere, a world or two away, a runaway noble just bolted awake screaming and he has no idea why. ]

[philomachy]

[someone stop them for the love of god

Zenos is gonna return with just-- oh he got like six different knives, THERE'S ONLY TWO OF THEM, WHY.]