week 2

[arsholes]

[One week down and (if the Alchemist's promise is to be believed) just three more to go. In the past week royalty has been bullied, explicitly non-Satanic chairs were ordered and you began the pact-bonding process with your new proprietor of mercantile wares, ✨Garfield the Deals Warlock✨.

All in all, a surprisingly good week despite the kidnapping and looming threat of death. We'll see how long that lasts.


Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

✨WEEKLY DEALS✨
1. The Cloak of Duplication - An ancient vampiric artifact, when worn it changes your appearance and voice to perfectly mimic another individual of your choosing. (You still have to sell the act, though.) [5 coins] SOLD
2. The Battle Axe of Hatred - A sick as hell electric guitar with an energy that feels like it is powered by the screaming of an ancient and evil lord- or at least once was. It has a signature on the body that simply says "Ron" and looks like it might have been written in blood. [5 coins]
3. The Jable - Put down your keys and stay a while. [2 coins]


✨LEFTOVER STOCK AT 50% MARK-UP✨
1. The Tingler - The whole hand tingles from wearing this ring, as if more blood rushes through the area. [2 coins]
2. Christine Jr. - A tiny red convertible. It's powered by pedals like a bicycle, with a steering wheel. For some reason it makes you think of old men in silly hats. [6 coins]



(( OOC: Don't forget to submit your orders for any threads that aren't with the Alchemist or Garfield! The Alchemist and Garfield both have "office hours" now so feel free to reach out to them. The compact functions have also been updated and don't forget activity check!

This week is where the real game begins, so get in your regains and CR while you can. >:3 ))

Comments

TUESDAY

[arsholes]

MOTIVE: It's a Wonderful Murder

[thealchemist]

[Well, except for those of you who've reached out to him, for the last week and some change the Alchemist has evidently seen fit to leave you to your devices. Perhaps he even plans to let you just wait out your month with no interference on his part at all.

But then... He wouldn't be a very good teacher, if he didn't check in on his students at all, would he?]

Attention, Apprentices. If you don't mind, meet me in the dining hall this morning, I have an announcement for you.

[As the apprentices trickle in to the dining hall, they'll see that the Alchemist has commandeered two of the four tables. One, the one that he's sitting on top of with his heavy work boots on the bench, is laid out with twenty envelopes, in alphabetical order.

The other is laid out with a spread of refreshments, two buffet-style heating trays full of what looks like large sheets of omelettes, one (with a piece cut out already) filled with ham and bacon and peppers and onion and mushrooms and cheese, and the other filled with all of that except the meat.

There's also a smaller buffet-style heating tray filled with sausages, a basket of rolls, and a large wooden board filled with cuts of meat and cheese, and a couple of large pitchers of lemonade.]

Alright, eat up. Call it a carrot before I bring out the stick.

[Once everyone who's going to eat has eaten, the Alchemist lets everyone come up and get their envelopes. If anyone tries to grab one that isn't theirs, they won't be able to lift it from the table.]

I bet you're wondering- "I didn't know Big Daddy Alchemist could cook. What else could he have cooked up for us today?" Well, my little babies, you're in luck. Go ahead, open.

[As the Apprentices open their envelopes, they'll find a picture of someone that they... don't get along with. Could be anyone - a sworn rival, a sibling (same thing), an arch-nemesis, whatever. Doesn't even matter if the animosity is one-sided.]

I'm here to offer you a one of a kind deal - In addition to letting you go home, or wherever the hell you want, whoever's in that picture? I'll erase them from existence. As if they were never even born. You just have to do one little thing for me first. I bet you smarty-pants can guess what that is.

[Despite the unmoving beaked mask, you can tell he's smirking. He crosses one ankle over his knee and leans over his lap.]

Kill somebody and get away with it.

[nomansbosom]

That's donked up, yo!

[Finn has, pointedly, not eaten. Fuck yo breakfast, Alchemist.]

[encelevenemus]

Honestly. Obviously it was clear you were not going to allow us to simply exist unchallenged for a month, but is this not a bit absurd to-

[As he spoke, Somnus opened his envelope and then abruptly stopped doing the former. The picture vanished in a brief flicker of light, and with it went his arrogance.]

…I suppose you think that funny, do you?

[replacementshield]

Or you could go straight to hell.

[ Real creative right?

Anyway he has a headache already. He's done here. ]

[seaweedwrap]

[Wu absolutely 100000% does not want to be here. He doesn't want to be seated at this table, and he hasn't touched any of the food. He's hungover, sure, but he, uh....doesn't want these. Instead, he's surprisingly subdued and quiet, shoulders hunched a bit, and very tentatively goes up and gets that envelope when bidden. It takes him a moment to open it, but once he does and pulls the picture out and, somehow, goes even paler and a shade more sickly. He's quickly shoving the picture back in the envelope and placing it back on the table, wrapping his arms around his waist and looking like he very much wants to be anywhere but here]

[amitiesbind]

[ Olive is pretty sure she knows who it is before she even opens hers. ]

Bigger men than you have tried.

[ good job alchemist you RUINED HATING BATMAN ]

[cakerights]

[Red Velvet will partake of some bread and cheese, but that's about it. Meat makes him sick and he isn't sure about eggs as not part of a baked good...... And what with his hangover (what was IN that wine???) he doesn't want to risk it.

He looks in his envelope, then shrugs and tucks it away]

You're going to have to do better than that.

[reresurrected]

[Oddly enough, there's absolutely no surprise on Baldr's face when he opens his, just a sort of grim resignation. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, then quietly tucks the picture back into the envelope and shoves it into his pocket with a little bit more force than is strictly necessary, though he's careful to keep his expression neutral.]

That's quite a promise to be making, you know.

[cuttingremark]

[Loki scoffs, but looks at the picture in the envelope anyways. His face is impassive as he looks at the picture.]

This is a dangerous game you play with the fabric of reality.

[pegasinister]

[Hubert doesn't even bother opening it, instead laughing darkly at the offer]

You truly think I would lose the chance to kill them myself?

[philomachy]

[He absolutely ate, breakfast is breakfast. He's just setting his cutlery down when it's time for everyone to get their envelopes, so he'll dutifully come over and take his.

Open it.

...And in what is probably the most emotion anyone has seen from him so far? Zenos just starts laughing.]

[spitessier]

[Katsuya opens his envelope and stares at the old man within. Tatsuzou Sudou, high-ranking government official, and ringleader of the organization he and the rest of the Persona 2 cast were fighting in his game.

The man who caused Katsuya's father's career to derail, and therefore led to Katsuya taking the role of the breadwinner of the family, ruining Katsuya's hopes and dreams]

...that man was a puppet. If he's gone, someone else will be targeted.

[He says that, but...it's tempting, if only because it'd mean Katsuya could have the life he wanted, not the life he had to follow.

Hopefully Katsuya would be able to hold his spite and resentment at bay]

[twibeast]

[ Orthrus, while a little on edge, was feeling pretty content after having such a nice breakfast. However when he goes to open his envelope that all changes.

He only gets the picture just barely out, enough to catch a sliver of a glimpse, before dropping it like it burned him and staring at it on the floor with a wide eyed fear, his face dreadfully pale.

There's no other reaction though. He just stares at it, even though the picture has fallen face down, frozen in place. ]

[predecir]

[Bruno looks shaken at the ultimatum, of course, but he opens his envelope with a sigh and an eye-roll - as if he already knows what's in it. Bruno has...well, a lot of enemies if you think about it, but very few people he really hates himself. How many options are there?

But then he sees the picture, and somehow goes a little more grey.]

What...? [He gapes at it, then glares up at the Alchemist, holding his photo up in the air - everyone can kinda see it now, oops.] This is my mother! Why would you even give me this?

[draconite]

[ Bryn eats breakfast because of course she eats breakfast. She's a growing girl, she needs her nutrients. She not quite fool enough to think this is a social visit so when it's time to open the envelopes, she can't say she's really surprised.

But still. When she tears it open and sees what's inside, Bryn completely freezes. Cold on the spot like someone's just walked over her grave. And if you happen to peek at her picture, it's hard to tell exactly why.

After all, it's just a man. Clearly an adult by some wide margin, with a face that seems kind, somehow. If there's anything notable about him, it might just be that the lavender hair and his red eyes are an eerie match for Bryn's.

She stares at the picture for a moment like she's not quite comprehending it. But then she turns her gaze up to the Alchemist and her voice is so, so quiet - and her remaining eye has gone flat, glossy, suddenly catching just a bit too much of the light. ]

You'd... completely unmake him? Truly? Him and... everything he's done?

[rikonstructed]

[Nuadha is predictably impassive as he opens the envelope and studies the picture inside. There's not even a flicker of emotion as he puts it away, extremely normal.]

And the consequences of doing that wouldn't be your problem, I suppose.

[squidproquos]

[ Azul doesn't even eat anything from the table. No offense, but he's not taking his chances; he only trusts his own food at the moment.

Still, the motive sitting there is quite enticing. He grabs the envelope, gingerly opening it and looking at the picture. His poker face doesn't change, having been honed over time due to all the deals he's made. But then, he lets out a little chuckle before sliding the photo back in the envelope and putting it in his inner suit pocket. ]

Creative, but not appealing to me.

[guffawsungraciously]

[he's been quietly watching everything happening so much as he pours himself a glass of lemonade and makes himself a plate.

You know, for fun.]

So much for everyone surviving the month, I suppose.

[He has not opened his envelope.]

meeting - library

[replacementshield]

[ So, that happened.

Felix isn't too happy but he doubts neither happens to be anyone else. So he'll go and put up things written in ink or whatever all over the place. It's obnoxious but like hell he is going to grab every body in person? He doesn't have the damn patience for that.

Anyway, these papers read as such, evidently in fancy script, and signed the way it is out of habit. For ease of reading, what is written is this:

"Get in the library, now. We talk about what happened. - Duke Fraldarius"

(Note: Originally it says kitchen in the link but shh. Pretend it is the library now. )

When people eventually do arrive, they'll see the man standing there. He hasn't set up snacks or anything in advance (then again they were fed, so) and he looks cranky, so he's not going to be friendly about this. ]

Obviously I brought you all together for a brief moment to try to confirm none of you are thinking of doing anything stupid.

Though, I'm looking for us to share what we learned as well or talk about it again.

I know there was some discussion of that at that...party, but even talking about it again can be useful.

[ Anyway, he'll calmly wait for others to say their piece. ]

[pegasinister]

Hm, before you ask: no I will not attempt to erase our beloved Professor. Even if I believed in that man's abilities, doing so would mean Lady Edelgard was killed by those bandits. Not very productive for my aims.

[He ponders, then decides to extend an olive branch]

...as for information: The Alchemist told me that time in our homes has slowed to a near crawl. So if anyone thinks they need to rush to return then put that thought from your mind.

[encelevenemus]

This is absurdity at its finest. We can not trust he will keep his word one way or the other. So there is no reason to risk bloodshed for the likely same result as the absence of it.

[…Or so he said.]

[amitiesbind]

[ After the motive and the meeting, Olive is... restless. Everything that happened at the motive clearly has her on edge, and it's a while before she properly Settles Down, so! Time to go around and Do Some Things.

She spends some time trying to Arts And Crafts Her Feelings Out in the Tinkerer's Haven, idly putting together... something? She keeps adding components and then removing them. ]

Shop class sure prepares you for real life. Must have missed the steampunk module.

[ Later, though, she finally gets her order in from everyone's favorite maybe-a-cat and uh. Huh. That's a box of beef.

Olive is going to pop over to the kitchen in the evening, probably after most everyone else has used it, beef in hand. She does expertly get the stove going, but... much less expertly starts cooking the beef. ]

Is that... does that look done? Should I flip it? Wait, crap, spices...

[ And she goes to... try to find some. Oh no. Help.

Later on still, as always, she settles into the library with a book. But this time, if someone comes by, she'll actually speak up first. It's casual, but not really either vulnerable or callous. ]

... Do you think someone's going to? You know, do what the Alchemist wants.

[predecir]

[After the disaster that was this week's motive, and when he's not being actively dragged to the meeting by Stella, Bruno completely disappears!

Well. Not really. He can't do that so easily here, huh? Anyone who looks can eventually find him in the storage room, curled up on the floor behind one of the shelves. He's petting Rosa with one hand, and smoothing out his motive photo against his knee with the other. It's a little crumpled from when he got attacked, and dirty from when he dropped it after. He's doing his best to fix it.]

gay baby jail (locked to Orthrus)

[draconite]

[ When Bryn wakes up, her first real thought is that her jaw aches – like she's been gritting or grinding her teeth while she was out cold, though the pain of that is just barely eclipsed by the rest of her head throbbing like she's been in a fight with a brick wall and lost. She's in the middle of grumbling to herself, gradually stumbling up to her feet when she realizes she can hear music – harp music, she thinks. Her vision is a little blurry and even the middling light of the room she's in hurts, so she lets her eyelid droop and tries to take a step forward.

Thump. ]

Ah–?

[ She tries again and thump. Collides with something she can't see. She reaches out and her hands find a smooth, flat wall just in front of her and Bryn screws up her face in confusion. ]

What...?