week 2

[arsholes]

[One week down and (if the Alchemist's promise is to be believed) just three more to go. In the past week royalty has been bullied, explicitly non-Satanic chairs were ordered and you began the pact-bonding process with your new proprietor of mercantile wares, ✨Garfield the Deals Warlock✨.

All in all, a surprisingly good week despite the kidnapping and looming threat of death. We'll see how long that lasts.


Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

✨WEEKLY DEALS✨
1. The Cloak of Duplication - An ancient vampiric artifact, when worn it changes your appearance and voice to perfectly mimic another individual of your choosing. (You still have to sell the act, though.) [5 coins] SOLD
2. The Battle Axe of Hatred - A sick as hell electric guitar with an energy that feels like it is powered by the screaming of an ancient and evil lord- or at least once was. It has a signature on the body that simply says "Ron" and looks like it might have been written in blood. [5 coins]
3. The Jable - Put down your keys and stay a while. [2 coins]


✨LEFTOVER STOCK AT 50% MARK-UP✨
1. The Tingler - The whole hand tingles from wearing this ring, as if more blood rushes through the area. [2 coins]
2. Christine Jr. - A tiny red convertible. It's powered by pedals like a bicycle, with a steering wheel. For some reason it makes you think of old men in silly hats. [6 coins]



(( OOC: Don't forget to submit your orders for any threads that aren't with the Alchemist or Garfield! The Alchemist and Garfield both have "office hours" now so feel free to reach out to them. The compact functions have also been updated and don't forget activity check!

This week is where the real game begins, so get in your regains and CR while you can. >:3 ))

Comments

[arsholes]

[No answer.]

[replacementshield]

Raise your standards.

[ Felix continues to search for a portal...with little to no luck. ]

[predecir]

Wu keeps on saying that, too...

[geez, maybe they have a point]

I don't think you can get through these very easy. It's pretty solid stone, I couldn't find any cracks.

[replacementshield]

Listen to him too.

[ Honestly he doesn't know Wu all that much but this is something they agree on, so it's whatever. ]

Ugh, I was still hoping for the impossible...or finding a portal and directing you to it. I'm not going to stop looking, got it?

[ He's too stubborn for that. Watch it appear here the moment he looks in another room or something, though. ]

MOTIVE: It's a Wonderful Murder

[thealchemist]

[Well, except for those of you who've reached out to him, for the last week and some change the Alchemist has evidently seen fit to leave you to your devices. Perhaps he even plans to let you just wait out your month with no interference on his part at all.

But then... He wouldn't be a very good teacher, if he didn't check in on his students at all, would he?]

Attention, Apprentices. If you don't mind, meet me in the dining hall this morning, I have an announcement for you.

[As the apprentices trickle in to the dining hall, they'll see that the Alchemist has commandeered two of the four tables. One, the one that he's sitting on top of with his heavy work boots on the bench, is laid out with twenty envelopes, in alphabetical order.

The other is laid out with a spread of refreshments, two buffet-style heating trays full of what looks like large sheets of omelettes, one (with a piece cut out already) filled with ham and bacon and peppers and onion and mushrooms and cheese, and the other filled with all of that except the meat.

There's also a smaller buffet-style heating tray filled with sausages, a basket of rolls, and a large wooden board filled with cuts of meat and cheese, and a couple of large pitchers of lemonade.]

Alright, eat up. Call it a carrot before I bring out the stick.

[Once everyone who's going to eat has eaten, the Alchemist lets everyone come up and get their envelopes. If anyone tries to grab one that isn't theirs, they won't be able to lift it from the table.]

I bet you're wondering- "I didn't know Big Daddy Alchemist could cook. What else could he have cooked up for us today?" Well, my little babies, you're in luck. Go ahead, open.

[As the Apprentices open their envelopes, they'll find a picture of someone that they... don't get along with. Could be anyone - a sworn rival, a sibling (same thing), an arch-nemesis, whatever. Doesn't even matter if the animosity is one-sided.]

I'm here to offer you a one of a kind deal - In addition to letting you go home, or wherever the hell you want, whoever's in that picture? I'll erase them from existence. As if they were never even born. You just have to do one little thing for me first. I bet you smarty-pants can guess what that is.

[Despite the unmoving beaked mask, you can tell he's smirking. He crosses one ankle over his knee and leans over his lap.]

Kill somebody and get away with it.

[nomansbosom]

That's donked up, yo!

[Finn has, pointedly, not eaten. Fuck yo breakfast, Alchemist.]

[encelevenemus]

Honestly. Obviously it was clear you were not going to allow us to simply exist unchallenged for a month, but is this not a bit absurd to-

[As he spoke, Somnus opened his envelope and then abruptly stopped doing the former. The picture vanished in a brief flicker of light, and with it went his arrogance.]

…I suppose you think that funny, do you?

[replacementshield]

Or you could go straight to hell.

[ Real creative right?

Anyway he has a headache already. He's done here. ]

[seaweedwrap]

[Wu absolutely 100000% does not want to be here. He doesn't want to be seated at this table, and he hasn't touched any of the food. He's hungover, sure, but he, uh....doesn't want these. Instead, he's surprisingly subdued and quiet, shoulders hunched a bit, and very tentatively goes up and gets that envelope when bidden. It takes him a moment to open it, but once he does and pulls the picture out and, somehow, goes even paler and a shade more sickly. He's quickly shoving the picture back in the envelope and placing it back on the table, wrapping his arms around his waist and looking like he very much wants to be anywhere but here]

[thealchemist]

Hilarious.

What's the matter, big guy? Not feeling the brotherly love?

[amitiesbind]

[ Olive is pretty sure she knows who it is before she even opens hers. ]

Bigger men than you have tried.

[ good job alchemist you RUINED HATING BATMAN ]

[cakerights]

[Red Velvet will partake of some bread and cheese, but that's about it. Meat makes him sick and he isn't sure about eggs as not part of a baked good...... And what with his hangover (what was IN that wine???) he doesn't want to risk it.

He looks in his envelope, then shrugs and tucks it away]

You're going to have to do better than that.

[reresurrected]

[Oddly enough, there's absolutely no surprise on Baldr's face when he opens his, just a sort of grim resignation. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, then quietly tucks the picture back into the envelope and shoves it into his pocket with a little bit more force than is strictly necessary, though he's careful to keep his expression neutral.]

That's quite a promise to be making, you know.

[encelevenemus]

[Somnus smiled in a way that was probably meant to be diplomatic, but came across more like the smile of someone who had read about the concept of ‘diplomacy’ in a book written by Caligula.]

I would not know, I am an only child.

Impatience is a poor quality in a teacher, do you not think pushing things along in such a way reflects poorly on you?

[cuttingremark]

[Loki scoffs, but looks at the picture in the envelope anyways. His face is impassive as he looks at the picture.]

This is a dangerous game you play with the fabric of reality.

[thealchemist]

Hey, it's just an offer, not a threat.

[He holds his hands up disarmingly, his cane propped against the table next to him.]

Think of it as extra credit.

[cuttingremark]

I will give you the first go. [He brings the daggers up and sinks slightly into a defensive stance. Surely this won't be too hard, right?]

[thealchemist]

Yeah, well, there's a fancy rock for that too, isn't there.

[pegasinister]

[Hubert doesn't even bother opening it, instead laughing darkly at the offer]

You truly think I would lose the chance to kill them myself?

[thealchemist]

I wouldn't be offering if I couldn't seal the deal.

[philomachy]

[He absolutely ate, breakfast is breakfast. He's just setting his cutlery down when it's time for everyone to get their envelopes, so he'll dutifully come over and take his.

Open it.

...And in what is probably the most emotion anyone has seen from him so far? Zenos just starts laughing.]

[thealchemist]

[The Alchemist just shrugs.]

Up to you. Someone else might not have the same code of honor you do.

[encelevenemus]

[…alright well that’s sure a way to handle things]

[reresurrected]

That may be, but how are we to be assured that you would? You'll have to forgive my suspicions on this matter.

[cuttingremark]

[GLARES]

Is that how you plan on accomplishing this? Greater beings than you have tried.